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Good Morning Everyone:<br>
<br>
Do you have friends or family members that seem to have it all together
and give you great advice? Ever wonder if they heed their own words?
The great thing about window shopping or meddling is that you can do it
vicariously - and if you make a fashion no-no or give bad advice you
never have to deal with the results. Keep that in mind the next time
you have some one with great intentions and whom you think knows you.
Knowing you and knowing the ins and outs of your relationship are two
distinctively different things - keep them that way. Here are some
other tips I hope will be useful.<br>
<p><strong>REWARDS For Conquering Our Fears of Getting Close</strong></p>
<p>If we learn to communicat effectively with others and are willing to
risk
sharing our own feelings and respect other's feelings, many rewards
will await
us as we learn to get close to another person.</p>
<p><i>Obviously, a very special relationship.</i> Getting close means
you can
need someone else and he/she can need you. It means when you feel
discouraged
or upset, someone is there to comfort and care about you, and you can
do
likewise.</p>
<p><i>You acquire faith in yourself, faith in others, and an ability to
be
faithful to others.</i> It enables you to live fully in the present and
to have
meaning and purpose for your own existence.</p>
<p><i>You become more sensitive to yourself,</i> with choices about
how, when,
and where you wish to share your feelings. You KNOW when you are
experiencing
love, joy, anger, etc.</p>
<p><strong>The Art Of Communication</strong></p>
<p>When people are asked what the most important ingredients in a
relationship
are, communication almost always is on the list. Yet we rarely are
taught HOW
to communicate effectively. Communication with others boils down to
either
expressing ourselves or responding to someone else. Yet the methods for
doing
each are quite different.</p>
<p><strong>Expressing Ourselves</strong></p>
<p>When you are stating an opinion, making an observation, or
expressing a
feeling, the most appropriate format to use is called an
"I-statement." You may even hopefully be already using them.</p>
<p>I-statements allow us to state things in positive terms, to express
ourselves directly and honestly, and to take responsibility for what we
think,
feel, and need while avoiding blaming or accusing others. In contrast,
"You-statements" blame the other person, put him/her on the
defensive, and often cause communication to be blocked. To simplify
things, we
can use a kind of "formula" for I-statements:</p>
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="">"I feel/think/want (express the
feeling/thought/desire)... When (state the behavior causing it)... </li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="">Because (identify the reason)..." </li>
</ul>
<p>The nice thing about this formula is that we can decide how much of
it we
want to use. It can be just the first one, or the first two lines, or
all
three.<br>
</p>
<p>Use what you can - throw out the rest. There are no full proof
methods for anything, just great suggestions that have proven effective
in other situations. I'm here if you need or desire someone to talk
things over with. Have a wonderful day.<br>
</p>
<p>Levenia <br>
918-465-1757<br>
</p>
<br>
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