[Oasfaa] HUM: Okie Grammar

[Mc Conahay, Pamela K]

A little humor for a Friday morning.  And, on this 3rd anniversary of the
big tornado, I should add a new one:
 
True Okies know when Dan Threlkeld says "this storm is nothing to fart
around with, folks", it REALLY is time to turn off the videocamera and go to
the storm cellar.  
 
Pam McConahay 
Asst Dir., Compliance & Support Svcs 
University of Oklahoma Financial Aid Services 
731 Elm, Rm 125, Norman OK 73019-2111 
(405) 325-4617, fax (405) 325-7608 
pmcconahay at ou.edu 
 
 
TRUE OKIE (Some of these are really accurate)

Only a true Okie knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption
fit and that you don't "have" them, but "pitch" them.

Nobody but a true Okie knows how many fish, collard greens,turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc. make up a "mess."

A true Okie can show or point out the general direction of "yonder."

A true Okie knows exactly how long "directly" (sometimes pronounced
dreck-lee) is - as in "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Okie babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the
white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
middle of the table.

All true Okies know exactly when and what "by and by" is. They might not use
the term, but they know the concept well.

True Okies know instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor
who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold
potato salad. (If the trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a
large banana puddin'.)

True Okies grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right
far piece." They know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20 and they
understand "kiddy corner" and "kaddy cornered."

True Okies both know and understand the differences between a redneck, a
good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Okie would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is
actually going to make a turn.

True Okies know that "fixin" can be as a noun, verb, and adverb.

A true Okie knows how to understand that: a booger can be a resident of the
nose, a descriptive ("That ol' booger!"), or something that jumps out at you
in the dark and scares you.

True Okies make friends standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do
"lines." And when we're in line, we talk to everybody.

True Okies never refer to one person as "y'all" and never spell it "ya'll."

Every true Okie knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and, that
fried green tomatoes are not breakfast food.


Okies say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the  need for
sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened; "sweet milk"
means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Okie knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who
drive 30 on the freeway - you say, "Bless her heart" and go your way.
 
*********************
Karen Glenn
Lab Technician, Weider Lab
University of Oklahoma 
Biological Station
HC 71 Box 205
Kingston, Oklahoma 73439
(405) 325-7432
FAX (405) 325-7440
 
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