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<p><font size=3 color=black face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:black'>However you feel about the outcome of Tuesday’s election,
remember…..we have to live with each other for the next 4 years.
So, in keeping with my personal motto “if it isn’t fun, what’s
the point?”, here are some election day pointers from The Onion.
For more election day humor (and lord knows we’re going to need it)
, go to <a href="http://www.theonion.com/election2004/">http://www.theonion.com/election2004/</a>
Me, I’m going to go to yoga class on Tuesday night and
try to wake up in another state (of mind) on Wednesday. <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p><font size=3 color=black face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:black'>Tuesday is Election Day. Here are some pointers to keep in mind
when heading to the polls:<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<ul style='margin-top:0in' type=disc>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>If at all possible, vote
before work. That way, you can make smug comments to non-voters all day
long. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>The new electronic voting
machines are complicated. But don't worry: Octogenarians will be on hand
to troubleshoot any technological problems that might arise. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>If your election official
hooks you up to a machine via a needle in your arm, you are actually donating
blood. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Tip for those on the go:
Voting a straight ticket can save you up to 15 seconds. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Remember that, as a member of
a participatory democracy, you have a duty to make your voice heard on
Election Day. If you find that idea hard to grasp, think of it like the
lotto: You can't win if you don't play. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Don't wear dress shoes. They
leave black scuff marks on gymnasium floors. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Voting is no longer
considered uncool. Note that it is not cool, either. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Many newspapers offer sample
ballots. Buy 10 copies and practice, practice, practice. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Remember to vote, or P. Diddy
will kill you. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>This is one of the most
important elections in recent times, so it's best if you just leave it up
to the pros. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>When voting, you don't need
to dress up in a scary costume or hand out candy. That happens two days
earlier. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>You might think it's funny,
but it's disrespectful to submit write-in candidates like "Don
Knotts," "Mickey Mouse," or "Michael Badnarik." <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Remember to take the day off
to vote. And the day before, to psyche up. And the morning after, to dry
out. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>If you are black and a
resident of <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Florida</st1:place></st1:State>,
work out two or three alternate routes to your polling place to avoid
police checkpoints. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>The most important thing is
to vote your conscience. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Okay, this is your conscience
speaking: "Vote Nader. Vo-o-o-o-ote Nader." <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>If you are a Flintstone, make
sure to put the granite slab arrows-first into the dinosaur's mouth. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>If you live in <st1:State
w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Florida</st1:place></st1:State>, for
Christ's sake, look at the ballot very, very carefully this time. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Education is the issue
Americans say is most important. Find someone with one of those to read
the ballot to you. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Keep in mind that the name of
every person who votes against George Bush is going to be read aloud on
television the next time we're attacked by terrorists. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l1 level1 lfo1'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>If you don't know where the
polling place is in your district, just try to remember the ugliest,
dingiest, most depressing building in a three-mile radius. That's probably
it. <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
</ul>
<p><font size=3 color=black face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;
color:black'><br>
</span></font><span class=headline1><b><font color=black face=Arial><span
style='color:black'>What To Bring</span></font></b></span><font color=black><span
style='color:black'><br>
Remember to bring proper identification to the polls.<br>
This can be:</span></font><font color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-family:Verdana;color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<ul style='margin-top:0in' type=disc>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Driver's license or your
chauffeur <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Passport and photos of your
boyfriend in <st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Paris</st1:place></st1:City>
<o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>SuperVoter discount card <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Note from president <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Proof that your grandfather
voted <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Retinal scan or your
alderman's retinas <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Two Iraqi scalps <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Receipt for your shoes <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Videotape of your first steps
<o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Halliburton employee ID <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Birthday card from
grandmother <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Pint of sperm for
DNA-identification purposes <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Casserole dish to pass <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>A good friend who can totally
vouch for you <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Signed $20 bill <o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
<li class=MsoNormal style='color:black;margin-top:3.0pt;margin-bottom:3.0pt;
mso-list:l0 level1 lfo2'><font size=3 color=black face=Verdana><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>Autographed celebrity photo
inscribed with your name<o:p></o:p></span></font></li>
</ul>
<p class=MsoNormal align=center style='text-align:center'><font size=3
color=black face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:12.0pt;color:black'><a
href="http://link.theonion.com/cgi-bin/link_tracker/linktracker.cgi?701"><b><font
size=1 face=Arial><span style='font-size:8.0pt;font-family:Arial;font-weight:
bold'>For more campaign coverage, visit the Onion Election Guide</span></font></b></a><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 color=black face="Times New Roman"><span
style='font-size:12.0pt;color:black'><br clear=all>
</span></font><font size=2 color=black face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Arial;color:black'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<div>
<p><font size=2 color=black face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Arial;color:black'>Pam McConahay <br>
Assoc. Dir., Compliance, <st1:PlaceName w:st="on">Training & Lender</st1:PlaceName>
<st1:PlaceName w:st="on">Relations</st1:PlaceName> <br>
<st1:PlaceType w:st="on">University</st1:PlaceType> of <st1:State w:st="on">Oklahoma</st1:State>
Financial Aid Services <br>
<st1:Street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">1000 Asp Avenue</st1:address></st1:Street>,
Room 216 <st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Norman</st1:place></st1:City>
OK 73019-4078<br>
(405) 325-4617 Fax (405) 325-7608 <br>
pmcconahay@ou.edu <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p><font size=1 color=black face=Arial><span style='font-size:7.5pt;font-family:
Arial;color:black'>This message, and attachments if any, from the <st1:place
w:st="on"><st1:PlaceType w:st="on">University</st1:PlaceType> of <st1:PlaceName
w:st="on">Oklahoma</st1:PlaceName></st1:place> may</span></font><font size=2
color=black face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;
color:black'> </span></font><font size=1 color=black face=Arial><span
style='font-size:7.5pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>contain confidential or
privileged information. If you are not the intended</span></font><font
size=2 color=black face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;
color:black'> </span></font><font size=1 color=black face=Arial><span
style='font-size:7.5pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>recipient of this
information, you are prohibited from reading, disclosing,</span></font><font
size=2 color=black face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;
color:black'> </span></font><font size=1 color=black face=Arial><span
style='font-size:7.5pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>reproducing,
distributing, disseminating, or otherwise using this</span></font><font size=2
color=black face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;
color:black'> </span></font><font size=1 color=black face=Arial><span
style='font-size:7.5pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>information. If you
received this transmission in error, please notify the</span></font><font
size=2 color=black face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;
color:black'> </span></font><font size=1 color=black face=Arial><span
style='font-size:7.5pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'>sender and delete this
message immediately. Thank you. </span></font><font size=2 color=black
face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:black'> </span></font><font
size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
<p><font size=2 color=black face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Arial;color:black'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
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