[Eoscstudents] Healthy Relationship Awareness

[Levenia Carey]

Good Morning:

Hope everyone had a great weekend.  I wish that we really could live in 
fairy tales and that life (relationships) always had happy 
endings.......instead of endings.  Reality kicks in and old man Walt 
isn't here with a magic script so we have to struggle through it and 
figure out which was is......    I offer you some thoughts to ponder.  
Have a great day.


      Healthy & Problematic Expectations in Relationships

It is not unusual for relationship conflicts to originate in the 
expectations or "shoulds" we hold regarding relationships. Each of us 
enters a romantic relationship with our own unique hopes and 
expectations. We dream that this other person might perhaps be the "one" 
for us. We have some notions about what we do and don't want based on 
family relationships, what we've seen in the media, and our own past 
relationship experiences. Sometimes our expectations of our partner or a 
relationship are unrealistic, unfair, and even self-defeating. Such 
expectations may doom a relationship to be unsatisfying and eventually 
to fail.


    Building Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships allow for individuality, bring out the best in 
both people, and invite personal growth.

Getting Close

Developing meaningful relationships is a concern for all of us. Getting 
close to others, sharing our joys, sorrows, needs, wants, affections, 
and excitements is risky business. What is it that interferes with us 
getting close to each other? Often it is one or more of these common fears:

   1. Fear of becoming known as we really are. Opening ourselves to
      others and their reactions is not only difficult for us, but is
      puts a demand on others to be likewise.
   2. Fear of pain and disappointment. Mass media and advertisers have
      tried to convince us that we should be 100% happy 24 hours a day.
      Hurt, pain, disappointment, and loneliness are not comfortable
      feelings, but they are human. Without the risk of experiencing
      them, one can never experience loving and being loved.
   3. Fear of losing our freedom. Can I risk giving up some of mine to
      care about you without you wanting to take it all away? Can I be
      both close and separate with you?
   4. Fear of being a taker as well as a giver. It is difficult for most
      of us to receive, yet if we don't, no one can experience the joy
      of giving to us.
   5. Fear of judgement. People are reluctant to disclose themselves
      because they dread the moral judgement of their friends, family,
      minister, and the law.
   6. Fear that showing love and affection is not proper. This is
      especially true for men, but NOT restricted to them. Somehow we
      have been convinced that this is a sign of weakness rather than a
      sign of courage.

Levenia
918-465-1757

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