[Oasfaa] HUM: Clues to being a true Okie

[Pam McConahay]

> 
> >>A FEW CLUES TO BEING A TRUE OKIE:
> >
> >Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass
> >a tractor on the highway.
> >
> >"Vacation" means going to the family reunion.
> >
> >You've seen all of the biggest bands....10 years
> >after they were popular.
> >
> >You measure distance in minutes.
> >
> >You know several people who have hit a deer.
> >
> >Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.
> >
> >Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.
> >
> >You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the
> >same day.
> >
> >You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better".
> >
> >Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
> >
> >Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.
> >
> >You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.
> >
> >You see a car running in the parking lot at the store
> >with no one in it, no matter what
> >time of the year.
> >
> >You use "fix" as a verb. Ex.: I am "fixing" to go to
> >the store.
> >
> >All of the festivals across the state are named after
> >a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
> >
> >You install security lights on your house & garage &
> >leave both unlocked.
> >
> >You think of the 4 major food groups as beef, pork,
> >beer, & Jell-O salad with
> >marshmallows.
> >
> >You carry jumper cables in your car.....for your OWN
> >car.
> >
> >You know what "cow tipping" & "snipe hunting" are.
> >
> >You only own 4 spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, &
> >Tabasco.
> >
> >You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
> >
> >You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt & boxer shorts.
> >
> >The local paper covers national & international news
> >on 1 page, but requires 6 pages
> >for sports.
> >
> >You think that deer season is a national holiday.
> >
> >You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
> >
> >You find 90 degrees F "a little warm".
> >
> >You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still
> >Summer, & Christmas.
> >
> >You know if another Okie is from southern, middle
> >or northern Oklahoma as soon
> >as they open their mouth.
> >
> >There is a Sonic in every town with a population
> >of 1,000 or more.
> >
> >You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as
> >good gumbo weather.
> >
> >A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda or a cola or a
> >pop --- it's a Coke, regardless of
> >brand or flavor.
> >
> >Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as
> >"goin' to Wally World".
> >
> >You recognize that cheese grits & catfish nuggets is a
> >meal that must have been
> >bestowed upon the people by the Lord Himself.
> >
> >You can be satisfied with a meal consisting only of a
> >hunk of bread with flavored
> >flour & water --- a delicacy known as "biscuit n'
> >gravy".
> >
> >You actually get these jokes & forward them to all
> >your friends from Oklahoma.
> >
> >