[Eoscstudents] Healthy Relationship Awareness

[Levenia Carey]

Good Morning:

Today, I wish to continue to explore co-dependency.

What is Co-dependency?

My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.
My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
Your struggles affect my serenity.  My mental attention focuses on 
solving your problems or relieving your pain.
My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.
My mental attention is focused on protecting you.
My mental attention is focused on manipulating you "to do it my way."
My self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems.
My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain.
My own hobbies and interests are put aside.  My time is spent sharing 
your interests and hobbies.
Your clothing and personal appearance are dictated by my desires as I 
feel you are a reflection of me.
Your behavior is dictated by my desires, as I Feel you are a reflection 
of me.
U am not aware of how I feel, I am aware of how you feel. I am not aware 
of what I want, I ask you what I want.  If I am not aware, I assume.
The dreams I have for my future are linked to you.
My fear of rejection determines what I say or do.
My fear of your anger determines what I say or do.
I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.
My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you.
I put my values aside in order to connect with you.
I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.
The quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours.

If this describes you, in your relationships, this is an area for 
potential growth.  Becoming aware of it is the first and most important 
step.  After awareness comes the opportunity for change.  By observing 
your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in relationships, you can 
identify changes you would like to make.  You can start practicing new 
behaviors.  Friends and family members may resist or sabotage your 
attempts to change.  It may be helpful to seek counseling to assist you 
in making changes in your style of interacting in relationships.

Here's wishing you a great day and our Mountaineers and Lady 
Mountaineers success on the court tonight.  Tomorrow we will look at 
Healthy Love versus Addictive Love.

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